What I Want is What I've not got what i need is all around me

Strip Clubs...

2009-07-24T09:29:00.004-04:00

This was originally a comment on Fabulously Broke's post "Men and Strippers" www.fabulouslybroke.com/2009/07/men-strippers.html but I thought it also made for a good post for the day.

My opinion on strip clubs is a catch 22:

If you're dating a guy that has issues with the way you look you shouldn't be dating him anyway- so if it takes him going to a strip club to figure out that he wants skin, bones & silicone, better late than never. Why would you want to stay with a man like that anyway?

Second, it is not unrealistic to look good, and it's unfair to judge those that do because the sight of them might make your significant other unhappy with you. IF YOU are bothered by the way that you look YOU need to change it. The fact that someone else made you notice it, could be the greatest thing thats ever happened to you, especially if you've been struggling with symptoms/disesases associated with being overweight or obese.
It comes down to one thing- WHAT PEOPLE DO TO YOU, IS ONLY WHAT YOU ALLOW THEM TO.

Scenario- Boyfriend comes home from stripclub:
makes a comment that makes you question your body.
The next thing that happens is ENTIRELY up to YOU!!!!!
Do you like your body? Are you happy & healthy? Is there anything that YOU want to change about yourself?
if so- do it!
If NOT-- you need to express this to your significant other. That this is who you are and he can like it or leave it.

If he likes it- great. If he doesnt- WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO STAY WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LOVE THE YOU THAT YOU LOVE???

Strip clubs and porn are not out there to ruin our relationships. They are out there to enhance it. I guarantee that no matter what your body looks like if you sit your hunny down for a lil impromptu lap dance (personally, after consuming a few glasses of wine, of course lol) and he loves the you that you love -- this will make for an interesting (definitely memorable) hopefully amazing night.

Now- I do not condone living at a strip club, spending lots of time there ESPECIALLY if you have children- you should be at home with your family (except for special occasions like bachelor/birthday parties, etc). A single man is a single man and can do what he wishes- but a man in a relationship should not have his balls cut off for looking at another girl naked. Girls I know you're looking at the firemen calendar where some amazing photographer had the wonderful idea of mischeviously placing hoses and ladders in all the wrong places. But if your man is frequenting the strip club- maybe there's something you can do to entice him back home. The hardest thing for girls to admit is that maybe there ARE some things about them they'd like to change- or that they MIGHT like to actually do some of the things in porn videos- they're just not sure where to start.

Your relationship is what you make of it. If you don't bend you will break. If you're boyfriends a skuzzball- leave him. If you want that donut for breakfast- have a salad for lunch and walk home. Your body is like a bank account- you can't overdraft it in the morning and not expect to pay the $30 withdrawal fee. Stop blaming strippers and porn for the lack of lust in your relationship and start taking action :)

I've Been Tagged!

2009-06-25T13:49:00.004-04:00

Here Are the Rules: Answer the following questions about yourself. At the end of the post you pass on the questions to 6 other bloggers and list their names. Then write them a comment telling them that they've been tagged and ask them to read your blog.

1. What did you do 10 years ago?
Hmm, lets see ten years ago i would have been around 14. I was ending my freshman year in high school, working at Page Dairy Mart, the BEST ice cream you will ever have. It was my first job and I stayed there until my sophomore year in college! I moved up to night manager and cake decorator (hey $10 an hour 10 years ago was the SHIT!).

2. Five items on your to-do list today:
1. Nap- b/c i feel deathly
2. Pack for Pittsburgh- woot woot cannot WAIT to go home.
3. Pick up new couches :)
4. Avoid a horrendous fight with my roommate
5. Snuggle up to my bear

3. Snacks I enjoy:
I'm more of a crunch girl-- and I REALLY enjoy snacking. I call it "munching"
Here are a few of my favorite munchin snacks
1. Harvarti Dill Cheese with Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuits. SO good.
2. Hummus and... veggies, chips, pita, pretzels, whatev.
3. Crunchy pickles. I am a fan of FRESH pickles. Nothing that needs to sit on a shelf for months at a time. BLEH.
4. Any kind of Chip/Dip combo, nachos & cheese/salsa/guac, plain potato chips with french onion dip. [This is my parents fault because staples in my house were at least 2 varieties of chips, pretzels, usually BOTH kinds of doritos (this was when nacho cheese and cool ranch were the ONLY flavs), que bueno cheese (orgasmic), salsa, and schnieders or helluvagood french onion dip.]
I could probably go on for years because I am a http://better-with-butter.blogspot.com/ fat girl at heart

4. What would you do if you were a billionaire?
1. Pay off my student loans,
2. Invest in a high interest college savings plan for my niece Hannah (12) & newphew Chris (6)
3. Buy a new car & sell Nelly.
4. Send my parents on a cruise.
5. Buy my mom a new car
6. Buy a house
7. Dontate to charity, etc.
there are a billion more but I'm annoyed thinking about how nice it would be to have the ability to do all of it and how far I still need to work to get there so I'm all done answering this question for now haha.

5. Places I would live:
1. Northern California//Nappa Valley area
2. I wouldn't mind going back to Pennsylvania
3. Nevada
4. Greece
5. NYC but only for a year-- too expensive for daily activities
6. Canada.
I'm pretty nomadic I would live wherever felt like home :)

New Goal: Going Green = more Green :)

2009-04-10T10:49:00.002-04:00

A few of the blogs that I follow have been eliminating certain spending habits/buying certain products to save money and the environment. I have also made SOME changings in my habits, but not enough to create the impact that I'd like SO- a new goal for me is to be more conscious of my purchases, whether they're a waste of money or natrual resources.

Thought it was a fun exercise, so here goes.. starting from Fabulously Broke's lists:

(Green = I agree and have done the same thing)
(Red= I diagree//doesn't work for my lifestyle//found alternative $savers)

Beauty Treatments - (although i have definitely lessened my mani/pedis to never during winter & monthly in summer or as needed- i do however, wax every 1.5 months or so)
Wash, cut and blow dry; now just dry cut (i'm horrible about my actual haircut- it usually is about once a year, so I allow myself to indulge a big- cut/color usually comes with a blow dry anyway)
Paper towels (Working on this. Need to purchase more dish towels though, and an alternative to storing my herbs in the winter// i use fresh herbs in summer so they're stored in dirt!)
Fabric softener - i feel this is essential to wrinkly/static-free clothing
Ready meals - (only buy when they're super cheap on sale b/c it saves me from spending $$ on lunch @ work!)
Magazines - RARELY purchase mags- i read all of my fav. mags websites && always find ways to get them for free :)
CD's/Music - i occasionally pay for itunes.
DVD's - never was a big purchaser of these to begin with
Buying lunch- I'm working on this! But sandwiches next door are only $5!
Afternoon sugar fix- not usually a problem for me b/c we have candy in the office :)
Fizzy pop I drink water :)
Credit card interest (Misleading. I've never paid any)
Newspapers (i like sunday papers for the coupons!)
Cell phone I've eliminated a house phone so my cell phone is my sole telephone.
Gift wrap -who doesn't LOVE a beautifully wrapped present? Wrapping presents is a hobby I only get to indulge in on special occasions.
Jiffy bags I'm assuming these are like ziplocks? Although I still use ziplocks, I try and Re-use them as well. But I feel they're necessary for storing frozen meats, and the occasional fresh herb so I can't eliminate them completely.
Bottled water I will be the first person to tell you there is NOTHING like the taste of a big ass cold evian. However, I have purchased a few SIGG's and refrain from buying bottled water unless i am dying of thirst and without a natural free water source.
Cleaning items; use vinegar This has been a big NO NO for me b/c my mom and sister are germaphobes, which turned me into one. I have however opted for many "all natural" cleaning products, but I just need lysol and clorox to disinfect. Sorry mother earth!
Handbags Another big fat no for me. I love bags, shoes and jewellery. What can I say?
Student Loan interest debt I am working on this!
Shampoo /Conditioner I dunno HOW FB does it- but I wish I knew how to NOT pay for S/C
Hair styling products in general (Only use hairspray- but its only when I curl my hair
Feminine products (FB uses the re-usable Diva Cup now) I think I'll stick with tampons. ew
Cable TV You can watch pretty much anything off of the internet
Books - go the library folks. there's a shit ton of everything.
Any kind of fruit juice or sugary drink as a regular grocery item water is better (if only i can get BF to agree! he LOOOOVES gatorade)
Paper Statements (Citizens bank has "green sense" where you earn $.10 every time you use your debit instead of siging a prited receipt. Also, my insurance gave me a reduced rate for going paperless! Woot)
Accountant fees (As a student I utilized the free tax services that exists in almost EVERY neighborhood in the states b/c I didn't make that much, (you have to make less than a certain amount per # of people in your household) but it's totally worth it! Now that I have a big kid job I'll do my own taxes with UFile -- dead easy)
Gym Fees (Probably my biggest waste of money b/c I HATE the gym- so my goal is to TRY to go more)
Dishwashing detergent I'm interested in what she uses instead
Laundry detergent
Starbucks
Cupcakes not really an issue for me
Paying for fees to check in bags when I fly (I never check anything in. 2 carryons, max.)
Napkins (Working on buying cloth napkins.)
Car insurance & leases (my auto/renters insurance doesn't charge additional fees for monthy bills vs. paying in full up front- and i get a discount for having renters&auto woot & I own my car)
Organic foods that have thick, inedible skins (What's the point?) this is a good point
Pens/Paper/Pencils (I seem to accumulate these for whatever reason)

I also re-use glass & plastic containers w/lids like butter tubs, miso, salsa jars, etc.

Any ideas on other ways to save??

Tips on Going Organic on a Budget

2009-01-23T11:53:00.003-05:00

My dad claims taht I have a Beverly Hills attitude with a 15210 zip code- and he's right- I want the "good life" but am determined not to pay full price for it...I found this article to intersting-- so I thought I'd share

http://www.organicconsumers.org/articles/article_13331.cfm

Free Veggies with Pot Roast!

2009-01-23T11:37:00.004-05:00

http://www.getinspired.shaws.com/emails/beef_chili/1ap1_1_23_4.pdf

Click here for free

Potatoes, Onions & Carrots when you buy any Roast (min. 3lbs)

Shaw's Marketfresh maine Potatoes (5lb bag)
Shaws Yellow Onions (2lb bag)
Farm Stand Whole Carrots (1lb bag)

all freeeee.

Grocery Saver!

2009-01-23T09:20:00.003-05:00

So this weekend, the boyfriend and I have decided to do a major shop together. We'll start at super walmart and go from there (no comments from the uber industry haters, thanks). We chose to go to a Super Walmart so that there would be better deals, and the closest one to us is 30 miles out of the city- so we're also lucking out and hitting up a SUPER Stop & Shop (which excites me) and Shaws, because those were the two closest grocery stores near the Super Walmart we're going to.

Being the crazy coupon lady that I am- I have decided to take it one step further, and map out our shopping day, by taking advantage of the grocery stores websites. There have been times that I get serious anxiety while grocery shopping because I'm wondering if I could have gotten it somewhere else for less. By utilizing Shaws and Stop & Shops online circular, which allows you to "add items" to a virtual grocery list- which you can then print out (OH SNAP) - I can shop confidently knowing im SAVING. Plus, the fact that the boyfriend and I are splitting virtually everything helps, that way we CAN buy in bulk and spend what we would for a quick shop.

So what I've done is added everything I thought we would be interested in purchasing (grocery, meats, cheese, toiletries, etc) that are on sale- We'll start at walmart, taking our handy lists with us, and if it's cheaper at walmart- we buy it there- if not we go to the grocery store :). To add a lil Emeril BAM! to it and take our savings one step further, we're also waiting until Sunday to shop, so that we can get the Sunday paper, cut the coupons, and save big. We'll hit up breakfast on the way out and get to the stores before the Sunday drivers get out of church.

I'll update our spending vs. savings after the weekend..

here's our cool list

http://docs.google.com/Presentation?id=ddjftf9d_47cwk69wf5

You just haven't earned it yet baby...

2009-01-08T11:15:00.000-05:00

Lately Ive been feeling low
A remedy is what Im seeking
I take a taste of whats below
Come away to something better

What I want is what Ive not got
And what I needIs all around me
Reaching searching never stop
And Ill say...

If you could keep me floating
Just for a while
Till I get to the end of this tunnel mommy
If you could keep me floating
Just for a while
Ill get back to you

Sometimes a jimi thing slides my way and keeps me swinging
Id like to show you whats inside
And I shouldnt care
If you dont like it
Brother chaos rule all about
Sometimes I walk there
Well yes God knows sometimes I take a bus there
Shouldnt care shouldnt care
Bereaved as Im feeling
The day is gone
Im on my back
Staring up at the ceiling
I take a drink sit back relax
Smoke my mind make me feel
Better for a small time

What I want is what Ive not got
And what I need is all around me
Reaching searching never stop
And Ill say...

Sometime in December as I sat listening to one of my all time favorite Dave Matthews songs-Jimi thing, truely following the lyrics..
I played the ever common game of searching within the depths of whatever craziness has been running through my head lately- and decided to make a change.
Financially, physically, mentally, educationally, bleh- you name it-
thinking back of my goals from highschool along the lines of 20 something- this isn't where I thought I'd be... but, then again, it's a major improvement from where I was 2 years ago.

With that said, I decided 2009 would be a year of change. I started a budget spreadsheet, created a list of things I wanted to do in the next 3 years, and decided to really focus on getting there. Thus, this blog is born.
The first goal of this blog is to be more consciencious about spending-
This is the first year I've been without a car and I've taken cabs far too many times,
or ordered out too much instead of getting groceries, etc.

The second goal is to SAVE!

This plan went into effect Jan 1- and so far so good. I feel happier, and less stressed about money. My overall goal of this blog is to keep me floating... staying on top of things, you know.

I'm crossing one thing off of my list of things I want to do in the next three years tomorrow by getting Lasik eye surgery. I'm scard and excited and this investment will save me in the long run b/c I will not longer need to buy contacts, solution, cases, glasses, wipes, eye drops, etc.
Here goes nothing- wish me luck!